“Lavender’s blue dilly, dilly,
Lavender’s green,
When I am king dilly, dilly,
You shall be queen…
Lavender’s green, dilly, dilly,
Lavender’s blue,
If you love me, dilly, dilly,
I will love you…”
“Come on Illy, sing with me”, Lilly asked her little sister
to join her in singing. Illy was lost in her daydreams. She always fell in love
with her elder sister’s voice especially whenever she heard her sister humming
this particular tune. Illy was an introvert in nature and of course a homesick
child who always preferred to spend time with her elder sister in their small
garden. It was Lilly who always pushed her little sister to go out and play
with her friends. But Illy instead of going out she always chose to stay with
her sister. Her sister was an excellent story teller. Cinderella was her
favorite story among others. No matter how much Lilly tried to impress her
little sister with new stories, for Illy it was always incomplete without
Cinderella’s story.
“…and Clara starts walking without her wheelchair. Heidi is
so happy for her best friend,” Lilly finished her story. Illy seemed to be
lost. Lilly guessed that her little sister was then in her dreamland.
“Did you like the story Illy?” Lilly asked Illy.
“Yes”, Illy replied, “tell me that part Lilly, when the
Prince finally found Cinderella.”
Lilly laughed, “Do you not get bored hearing same story
every day, Illy?”
“No, I love Cinderella”, Illy took a pause, “and I love the
Prince”, Illy shied her eyes away from her sister’s.
Lilly gave her little sister an indulging smile, “You will
also meet your prince one day. He will come here looking for you.”
“I will hide behind you”, Illy said shyly.
“But he will find you out. He will come here only for you dear,
riding on a white horse. That day some magic will happen”, Lilly said.
Illy was completely lost in her dreams. She could see
someone coming on a white horse from a far away place, but from where she did not
know. She could not even see the face of her future prince but could see the
lights around piercing her eyes. What was that? Light or magic!
Lilly was getting married today. Little Illy became a
college going girl by then. Time flew in a blink of eyes. Illy was waiting for
her prince to come while her sister Lilly, who was eight year older to her, got
hitched with her long time beau, Aamon.
Lilly was looking so gorgeous! All dressed in a maroon color
sari, she became the sole owner of a set of glittery gold jewelry. Everyone’s
eyes were looking for the bride. Illy was of no importance today. Nobody even
bothered to discuss her beauty. Whenever two sisters were together somewhere,
it was Lilly who always grabbed everyone’s attention and Illy appeared to be a defeated
soul. But it hardly saddened Illy rather it grew admiration in her mind for
Lilly even more.
Lilly left her house, her room, garden, parents, private
space and above all her beloved little sister Illy behind, for she had a new
address now. She shared her privacy now with a person who used to intrude more
often in her mind to confirm his space. Lilly learnt that after marriage the
definition of privacy changed. She knew the person before, but did not know the
experience of living with that person. So love marriage never concluded the
space of exploring a person in a better way.
Aamon, reserved in nature, became more unfamiliar to Lilly
by each passing day. He became an intruder in Lilly’s life. The strong headed,
lively girl suddenly discovered that she had not heard her voice for so long. It
was Aamon who always had something to comment particularly on Lilly’s life. Time
truly made the huge difference. In those everyday’s two hours’ meeting, Aamon
was merely a possessive boyfriend which defined his level of care for Lilly. But
now it seemed intrusion to Lilly.
Illy was very happy today. Lilly and Aamon were about to reach.
She was running to the balcony in every five minutes to see them coming. Illy never
could resist her whenever she talked about her sister and brother-in-law to her
friends. She always kept on talking. Sometime she repeated the same incidents with
over enthusiasm. To her it was a match made in heaven. Though Illy often
avoided any kind of interaction with Aamon, they ended up having a very formal
relationship. It was not Illy’s introvert nature; she always tried her best to
gel with her brother-in-law. Lilly asked her to treat Aamon as her brother and
Illy also put her effort to that matter. Aamon was regarded as a soft spoken
and gentle person. But God knew why to Illy his gentleness seemed to be harsh sometime.
But still she chose to admire him as he was Lilly’s Prince.
Finally they arrived. Aamon’s parents also came. Illy hugged
her sister tightly, so did Lilly. But something was missing there. Illy could
not feel the familiar warmth in that hug. Lilly looked exhausted. This time
Aamon did not bother to say ‘hello’ to Illy. A fake smile on faces performed the
formality. He looked unnaturally calm. An
unknown fear grasped Illy’s mind.
The ambiance was becoming heavier with each passing moment. Illy
was not allowed in elders’ conversation. She was arranging food for the dinner.
She could hear some pieces of words while passing by the room to go to the
kitchen.
“It just has been a year Aamon. I think you should take some
more time”. Illy heard her father speaking, but on which context she could not
figure out.
“But my son has a wish Mr. Ghosh. Is it crime to demand for
a child after marriage? Your daughter reacted like…” Illy could not hear more.
It was Aamon’s mother.
“No, no, Mrs. Gupta what are you saying? Why it would be a
crime! But I was saying if they could take more time”, Lilly’s mother replied.
Illy heard a heavy voice, “But Mrs. Ghosh you should
understand that it has been a year and your daughter does not want to bear a child.
My son is also a service person. If he can manage his time and is ready to fulfill
all the responsibilities of a father, why is your daughter excusing herself with
her job?” Mr. Gupta firmly stated.
“No, I am not excusing myself. I also want to be a mother
but I am having some medical complications. It will need some time. Your son
knows everything. I tried then only I came to know about the complications,
right? Then why are you questioning my intention?” Lilly replied.
“Why don’t you say clearly that you can never bear a child?”
Mrs. Gupta’s statement left the room speechless.
“No, I won’t say so. Those are complications and curable”,
Lilly replied after few seconds’ pause.
“I can foresee my son’s future. It is ruined, completely
ruined”, Mrs. Gupta sobbed.
“What do you want? Do you want to get rid of me? Why don’t
you clear this thing out?” Lilly cried.
“Oh! In that case tell me how can we get rid of you? Say?”
Mrs. Ghosh replied.
“Have you not already? I think your son has got rid of me.
Ask him why he has started staying outside at night recently and most importantly
with whom.” Lilly’s revelation once again left the room dumbfounded.
Illy could not resist her from peeping inside the room. Lilly’s
face became so pale! Mr. and Mrs. Gupta seemed lost in other world as if they
were not present there. Illy’s parents were so shocked that they wished to die
instantly. Aamon was strangely calm. Illy did not hear a single word from him since
his arrival. Illy again felt something very unnatural.
That night no one had dinner except Illy and Aamon. Illy and
Lilly slept together. After a year two sisters were together on the same bed. Illy
tried to say something, but it seemed that someone had choked her throat. Lilly
suddenly kissed on Illy’s forehead and said, “Do you still dream of your
prince? Do you still believe that he will look for you riding on a white horse,
Illy?” Illy literally was not prepared for such sudden question. “If you say so”,
Illy could not figure out anything better to answer. Lilly laughed out so loud,
it sounded like thousand pains were echoing at the same time. Illy was
confused. She could not understand whether her idiotic reply was that funny. Lilly
stopped laughing suddenly and gazed at Illy for few seconds. Then she again
kissed on Illy’s forehead and this time a bit more affectionately and hugged
her tightly, “Don’t dream such thing Illy. This will never come true. This is
myth. Take care.”
“Where are you going?” Illy asked as Lilly got up and
started walking to the door.
“Don’t call me behind sweetie. Sleep well”, Lilly left the
room.
Illy followed her, Lilly entered Aamon’s room. Illy suddenly
felt an unfamiliar shake in her entire body. She started walking in the dining
space. She was feeling so restless! God knew why her mind was going back to
childhood memories again and again. Suddenly the memory of Lilly’s marriage
popped up in her mind. When Lilly was leaving, Illy was crying like a child, “Don’t
go, please, don’t go”. “I have to Illy,
I have to. Please let me go. Hold yourself. Don’t call me behind sweetie. Take
care”, Lilly tried to convince her little sister.
Illy ran towards her room. She could not think of anything. Her body started shaking with an unknown fear. Something would happen, something was going to happen.
Illy ran towards her room. She could not think of anything. Her body started shaking with an unknown fear. Something would happen, something was going to happen.
“Illy… Illy open the door Illy, open the door”, Illy woke up
hurriedly but could not dare to open the door. It was her mother who was
screaming outside her room. “Illy come here, oh no! Oh God! Why did you do this
to me? Illy, see what happened to Lilly”, as if Illy was consciously waiting
for this explanation that something had happened to Lilly finally. Illy could
not move. She was still on her bed waiting for the next explanation. Someone was
banging at her door so hard! Illy was not able to sense anything. She could
only hear the increasing noises. One of her neighbor uncles managed to bring
her out of the room, “Come and see your sister for one last time Illy.” Uncle
was crying. Illy thought that she was dreaming and her mother would wake her up
and say, “Wake up Illy. Lilly is waiting for you on the table with coffee.”
Illy finally found Lilly, sleeping so peacefully. Aamon was
there beside her head lamenting, “Why Lilly, why? Why did you take such big
step? We would have managed somehow. I am sorry for overreacting but I really did not
want to lose you.”
Ah! After long time Illy heard Aamon’s voice. But it was so
unfamiliar!
“It was Aamon who called Mrs. Ghosh that Lilly was no more”,
one neighbor aunt said.
“Do you think that it was suicide?” another one asked.
Dawn had not broken yet. Illy found her father lying unconscious
in a corner of the room. Two neighbor uncles were trying to get him back in
sense. Illy’s mother was running from one room to the other calling out Lilly’s
name like a crazy woman. Three four neighbor aunties were running behind her. It
became very difficult for them to tackle such sudden big crazy child.
Police came, general investigation started. They took the
corpse for postmortem. Illy forgot to cry, she even forgot to call her sister
behind, she just let her go. For the first time she obeyed her sister by not
calling her behind.
Illy’s parents did not allow Illy to see her sister’s dead
body before cremation. After postmortem it was a distorted corpse. Illy decided
that she would not see her sister’s distorted body.
Illy was in her room. The house was filled with unnatural
silence. The sound of police van broke the silence.
“It was murder! He choked her to death. Postmortem report is
saying so. Mr. Ghosh why are you taking back the case? We will have to release
him on bail then”, police personnel said.
“Listen sir! I have another daughter. Have you seen her?
Lilly has gone. We will have to accept the truth and will have to try to forget
it. If we run the case, her memory will never let us live. Illy will die, she
will die every day. I can’t see my other daughter dying in front of eyes again.
God will punish him. Let us live sir, let us live”, Mr. Ghosh replied.
“No, Baba, you can’t do so” Illy came out of her room
running, “Please Baba don’t do this to her. You will have to punish him.
Baba he killed Lilly. Baba, please don’t take the case back. Baba
please”, Illy pleaded, “Sir, sir please you do something. Don’t listen to my
father. Tell me, what I should do, tell me, I will do everything.”
“Illy”, Mr. Ghosh shouted, “go inside your room.”
“But Baba…”, Illy tried to convince her father once
more.
“No, I don’t want to listen to you. Go inside, please go. I
am begging you. I have no strength left. Do whatever you want when you will
grow up. I cannot run the case. If you want, you do when you will grow up. I don’t
have the strength Illy, I don’t have. Please pardon me”, Illy’s father pleaded.
“Go inside dear. Don’t bother your father much. He is not in
good condition. The case can be reopened whenever you want. Do you want to run
the case? Go and complete your study first, go”, Police said to Illy.
Illy went back to her room. She was figuring out how long it
would take her to grow up.
“Illy, Illy he killed me, Illy it is hurting, Illy help me,
Illy don’t let me go Illy, please hold me. Illy he killed me… Illy….”
Illy was lying on the bed with her eyes open. She was listening to her sister carefully.
Illy was lying on the bed with her eyes open. She was listening to her sister carefully.
“Why don’t you understand Mrs. Ghosh that I can’t prescribe
such high dose sleeping pills to a 19 year girl? Three pills in a day, have you
gone crazy? She will lose her memory”, Dr. Goel told Illy’s mother.
“Let her lose all the memories. I can’t see my daughter suffering
this much. Please doctor, do something. I am begging you”, Illy’s mother
pleaded.
“Okay, okay let me see what I can do, but it will be harmful
Mrs. Ghosh”, Dr. Goel said.
“Illy, Illy see who’s come to see you?” Illy’s mother called
Illy. Illy did not pay any attention. She was looking outside the window and
was humming something.
“Illy see, Keya has come to see you,” Illy’s mother further
said. She thought after hearing best friend’s name, Illy might respond. But
Illy did not seem to care.
Now Keya called Illy, “Illy, Illy look at me”. Now Illy
seemed disturbed. She gave a blank look at Keya. Keya and Illy’s mother thought
that Illy would respond. But Illy again looked back to the window without
responding them. Keya again called her.
“Who is Illy?” she asked Keya.
“It’s you, Illy. It’s your name”, Keya replied.
“Is it my name? Are you calling me?” she asked.
“Yes Illy, it is your name. What are you doing Illy? I have
come to see you. Let’s go out. I will take you to my home today”, Keya said.
“No, go away. Who are you? Don’t disturb me. I am waiting
here”, Illy replied angrily.
“Waiting for whom Illy? Keya asked.
“For the grown up me. I want to grow up. You go now. I will
come some other day”, Illy continued humming,
“Lavender’s blue dilly, dilly,
Lavender’s
green,
When I am King dilly,
dilly,
You shall
be Queen…
Who told you so dilly, dilly,
Who told
you so?
It was my heart dilly, dilly,
That told
me so…”
😍😘💗
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