Dear Gentleman

It was an unplanned event when I met you. I remember the way you looked at me. You looked exhausted with your broken relationship. I did not seem impressive to you. A small talk over the phone hardly saved us from being strangers. We met, were introduced to each other, but remained unimpressive to both.

This could have been the end of the story. Not every story demands plots or sub plots, some just begin to meet an immediate end. Ours could have been so. I so wish it would have been so. But experiences are always good for life you know. Having it is nice but going through the situation to earn it is difficult.

Gentleman, how do you manage to appear so perfect? How come women fail to notice the absolute contradiction in your character! Even after getting so intimate with you! Do they notice you like I do? I guess, no!

It was my fault that I chose to be with you. I could have arranged a safer place to stay rather than your house. Being with you did not bring any glory in my life when I could not secure a space in your heart with dignity. It is good that we continue a nameless relationship. We have no tag, no brand in our existing relationship. There is only you and I. I cannot count it a live in relationship as it requires minimum acknowledgement. And we are secret to each other, a darkest secret and maybe the dirtiest one! You see, we know that we are continuing it for years but we still appear as strangers in public. We cannot even call each other good friends in front of a third person but when we meet, we often take pride in our friendship. Yes! secretly we are friends, secretly we are dating each other for years, secretly we share our naked souls. Everything! So secretly!

Gentleman, while your hands play with my naked body, in those touches I always find voyeuristic pleasure, never a bit of affection. When you are done with playing, how peacefully you sleep beside me. I often gaze at you in astonishment- 'is this the person I chose to be with?' Your intellect, bold attitude which hardly cares any chauvinism, composed personality attracted me to be a part of your life. But your earnest appeal to me to be a 'memorable partner' in your life threw me into the pit of confusion. Was it a call to be a memorable one in your bed or life? Within those four walls you could not completely be mine. I lost you every now and then even while carrying you over me. Your lies, infidelity exhausted me.

Dear Gentleman, you chose me for my convivial nature, but you mistook me a candy girl. Now your fear of losing me is quite enjoyable to me. You don't want to have me in  your life but can't also throw me out of your life. You are now a dizzy soul. I am your achievement now and your rickety spine is mine!

Your Memorable Partner. 

Infidel Bride

“Who are you waiting for?” Meera asked her cousin brother Varun.

Varun did not reply. He was standing in front of the entrance gate of their house. He was murmuring something. He was tensed and angry as well but why so that Meera could not figure out.

Today was Meera’s 18^th birthday. She was very excited about the fact that from today she would be considered as an adult and her opinions would be valued. Little did she know that adults also had this choice not to value other adults or their opinion. She could not learn it because she grew up seeing Varun as a pampered child in her family. Long before he became an adult, his opinions were valued by the members of the family. Though Meera had no objection for that, Varun hardly mattered to her. Varun and Meera always maintained a sweet and sour relationship. Varun was five years elder to her. Meera was taught to respect her big brother but Varun was very adamant and dominant in nature and this bothered Meera. Meera always hurt Varun’s male ego by living with her liberal thoughts. Hence Meera was considered a disobedient girl and people claimed that only because of her mother’s indulgence. Again Meera had no issue with it, if people did not find Varun a spoiled brat but Meera, she was convinced with their blindness.

“Let her come today, I will kill that bitch”, Varun murmured.

“Who?” Meera asked “Who do you want to kill? Why? Varun today is my birthday, don’t talk nor do anything rubbish”, Meera warned Varun. She knew how her cousin brother was, a jerk who loved to pick up fights every now and then.

“Will you please shut your mouth? Birthday, birthday, so what? There that bitch is roaming around with that Mohammedan. Our reputation is in grave threat; this girl only cares for her birthday. Your birthday will come and go every year, if reputation is gone once, it will never come back. Now leave”, Varun yelled at Mira.

“Do not talk to me like that, today is my birthday, you jerk!  For a Mohammedan you are cursing your sister in this way on her birthday! Shame on you! Go to hell”, Meera cursed her brother and left the place.

Meera went to the kitchen where her mother and aunt were cooking some delicious food to celebrate her birthday. Meera’s mother took a day off from her school to be with Meera. Meera’s mother, Mrs. Medha was a school teacher, who for her job, could never secure a space in her mother in law’s heart. Meera’s grandmother, Mrs. Yashodhara Roy Chowdhury always blamed Mrs. Medha for Meera’s out going nature. She reckoned Meera’s aunt, Mrs. Gauri as an ideal daughter in law who could always be found busy with house chore activities. Meera’s grandmother was dominant, conservative and robust in nature. It is said that after husband’s death, his wife becomes a parasite in her own family. But in Mrs. Yashodhara Roy Chowdhury’s case it never happened. She was always in-charge of the house, a decision maker since she stepped in the house after her marriage. Her husband Mr. Roy Chowdhury passed away long before, but nothing changed. Her younger son’s decision to marry Medha actually put her in an insecure zone. She knew that she could not treat Gauri, her elder son’s wife and Medha in a same way. Hence she consciously used to put effort to prove her decision right.

“Varun is so rude, Jemma. He does not care for my birthday”, Meera complained to her aunt, Gauri.

“Stop complaining, Meera”, Mrs. Medha said.

“No, no, it’s okay Medha, let her speak. Varun must have done something wrong. What is it Meera?” Mrs. Gauri tenderly asked Meera.

“He got abusive with me because of a Mohammedan”, Meera casually told. Gauri and Medha exchanged a quick look.

“Meera, do not call a person in such manner. What Mohammedan? Call him by his name”, Mrs. Medha said.

“Oh! Mohammedan is not his name! I thought someone’s name is Mohammedan. Then what is Mohammedan?” Meera exclaimed.  

“Muslims are called Mohammedans”, Mrs. Medha answered, “But what happened Meera?”

“Varun was saying that Radha was roaming around with a Mohammedan, sorry, a Muslim guy. He is very angry for that. He told that Mohammedan, sorry, Muslim guy would put our reputation under grave”, Meera answered.

The kitchen filled with an awkward silence. Meera did not know that Mohammedan but rest of her family members were aware of him. Radha, Meera’s cousin sister who was just a year elder to her was in love with a Muslim guy, Arshad Nesar. Radha and Meera were very close to each other. Their relationship was like two bodies, one soul. But Radha never discussed her love life with Meera. It was merely out of fear. She feared that her love life might influence Meera’s perspective of life or she might judge her and stop talking to her just like others. Meera, as a person, was never religiously conscious. That was Medha’s upbringing and that was why Radha always respected her aunt. But the bitterness, torture she had been going through in her life for her relationship, might scare and make Meera conscious about religion which was not at all expected to Radha. She endured everything behind the closed door.

Radha and Arshad’s affair was known to all in the family except Meera. Everyone consciously maintained the secrecy from her. Meera found Radha beaten sometime but why she could never understand. Even after being beaten up black and blue Radha appeared to be a happy child with a big smile on her face in front of Meera as if nothing had happened.

Everyone heard noise outside. Varun and Yashodhara were screaming ferociously. Meera, Mrs. Medha and Gauri came out of kitchen hurriedly.

“You bitch! Why did you come back? Where were you loitering? People respect us, your family for a reason. You forgot which family you belong to! You ruined everything. Why don’t you go and drown yourself? Bitch, die! Die!” Mrs. Yashodhara was at her top level of ferociousness. Varun was beating Radha mercilessly. Radha was bleeding. Mrs. Medha shouted, “What did you people plan for her? Would you want to kill her? Leave her right now.”

Meera was so shocked. For the first time Radha was being beaten up in front of her. Mrs. Gauri did not come forward for her daughter’s rescue rather she was encouraging her son to teach Radha an appropriate lesson that should help her to forget Arshad.

Meera realized that her birthday was perfectly spoiled. In evening she went out for dinner with her friends. Radha did not join her. Meera was not feeling good. If her mother did not rescue Radha, they would have killed her. But who was this Arshad? Meera unveiled the mystery behind Radha’s misery today.

Radha and Meera were lying on bed quietly. The room was so silent that they could hear the sound of their breathing and the sound of ceiling fan seemed so noisy.

“How was your birthday, Meera?” Radha asked gently keeping her eyes fixed on the ceiling fan.

“Perfect”, Meera sighed. Meera also did not look at Radha. The scars on her body made her bluish. Radha was fair, so a simple scar on her body used to be quite noticeable. Again both became quiet.

“Radha, I want to tell you something”, Meera sounded so desperate.

“Hmm, say” Radha replied. She was assuming that Meera would ask her about Arshad.

“Radha, there’s a boy”, Meera paused.

“Hm! So?” Radha asked.

“Radha, everyone says, I mean my classmates that… that… Adnan probably likes me”, Meera fumbled. She quickly closed her eyes. She did not want to see Radha’s reaction. Radha skipped a heartbeat. She did not look at Meera either. She kept mum.

“I know that I will be beaten up to death. That’s why I do not listen to them. I try to restrict myself so that this rumor gets buried quickly”, Meera said.

“Do you like him?” Radha asked Meera.

“How does it matter? I don’t want to give any thought to it. I don’t understand though but I know people see it as crime...” Meera could not finish talking, while Radha gave her shortest firm reply, “NO” and she turned on her left side and fell asleep or she was pretending to be sleepy just to avoid any further conversation on it. Meera continued gazing at the ceiling fan. This time the sound of its swirl did not seem noisy compared to the sound of Meera’s heartbeat.

“Hello! How are you? Oh after such a long time I am hearing your voice Sanket! I guess you have forgotten your aunt”, Yashodhara was speaking over phone.

Sanket was Meera’s cousin uncle who lived in Bangladesh. Meera’s family actually belonged to Bangladesh. It was a long tragic story hearing which Meera grew up. Bangladesh was then India when Meera’s grandfather, Brijmohan Roy Chowdhury came to West India for business purpose. He was merely 23yr old then who recently got married to 13yr old Yashodhara. Brijmohan was educated; it did not take him much struggle to settle down in West India. When he was actually thinking to shift his family from eastern to western, partition took place. Amid of chaos Brijmohan successfully brought her parents, wife and four siblings among others in India. Rest members were left behind in East Pakistan. Roy Chowdhury family could not digest the fact to be called a Pakistani. Brijmohan and his father put several efforts to bring their huge family in India. But it was not so easy. In 1971 when finally Bangladesh got independence, Brijmohan’s family decided to stay back there as they had property over there. Yashodhara developed immense hatred since then for Muslims. In partition Yshaodhara had been the witness how Pakistani people looted her house, broke her temple and same repeated when Bangladesh war took place. In both massacres Muslims confiscated most of their property. Yashodhara would never forget those nightmares.

“So what made you remember your aunt today?” Yashodhara pretended to be hurt over phone. Rest members were not able to assume what Sanket was speaking to his aunt on the other side of the phone. Anyway everyone was in rush to start their busy day. Yashodhara’s sudden shrill made them astonished.

“What? When? But your parents did not inform me about it. How could you expect my family members there overnight? You can do things overnight but we can’t. I can’t believe this that your parents would do this to me. They did not care to inform me once. Don’t forget that it was your uncle who took care of you and your family even when he was in India. And you! I don’t know, I don’t want to listen to anything.  I won’t ask anyone to visit you. That’s how your family paid to my generosity, motherly love. Suman”, Yashdhara called out her elder son, “Talk to Sanket. I don’t want to talk to him”.

Sanket got married! It happened so quickly that he could not inform anyone. Yashodhara refused to talk to him over phone, hence nobody could figure out why Sanket made such decision in hurry. Suman decided to see them. Yashodhara was not angry but she was upset. Suman assured her that he would solve the matter soon after he reach there. Yashodhara asked him to bring Sanket and his wife here as few rituals needed to be performed and rest members were commanded that nobody would talk to Bangladeshi family members till Suman returned from there.

Suman returned with Sanket and his wife. Rituals were performed. Sanket begged to his aunt to forgive him. He just informed that his family was not happy with his decision to marry Asha. Hence he was compelled to make the decision alone. Suman after returning was not saying a single word as if he should not have brought them here. Yashodhara understood her child’s mind. Such decision might affect children in her home specially Radha. Yashodhara did not want to get into any further explanation hence. The entire reason of Sanket’s sudden marriage should remain as a secret.

The day was Sunday. Everyone gathered on the table to have lunch together. Everyone was recollecting the left behind days. Asha was quiet in the whole conversation just like a new shy bride. She seemed quite nervous. Medha and Gauri tried their best to make her feel comfortable.

“So, won’t you return to uncle?” Sashank, Yashodhara’s younger son asked Sanket.

“Of course I will, someday. May be on that day when they will realize that I have not done anything wrong”, Sanket replied.

“What someday?” Yashodhara interrupted. She had to, as children of the family were present there. Sanket’s such daring step might mislead them. “Of course you have done wrong. Marriage needs consent of the family members. At least you could give it a try”, Yashodhara said.

“What? Do you think I did not try to convince them? Of course I did, but they and their back dated ideologies…” Sanket had to stop here as this statement made Yashodhara furious.

“Back dated! Now your parents’ concern, suggestion became back dated! Is that why we parents put so much effort to bring you up, to get such reward?” Yashodhara's voice was reaching almost at its top level.

“It’s okay, calm down. Let’s not talk about it. Everything will be fine”, Sashank tried to manage the situation.

“Inshallah!” Sanket’s  slip of tongue left everyone dumbfounded. Now Sanket was also left with absolute awkwardness. Asha looked petrified. Nobody could figure out how to react.

“Ah! Bangladesh has Muslim majority. Sanket has to interact with them on a daily basis. Environment impacts…” Medha tried to manage the situation. She did not want any more fight over a single infidel word. But Yashodhara did not let her complete, “Medha that’s not our upbringing. Nothing can impact on our upbringing. What’s the matter Sanket?” Yashodhara asked him in a cold voice. To Meera it seemed at this moment her granny would not think twice before murdering Sanket for his casual approach.

One more mystery was unveiled. Now Yashodhara realized why her elder son was not happy with Sanket’s arrival. Asha’s full name was Asha Khanam. She was a Muslim and for marrying her Sanket had converted to Islam. He was now Aminrul Mohammed Khanam. Meera witnessed a live riot at that very moment. Yashodhara asked them to leave her house immediately. She made it very clear that she would not allow infidelity in her house under any circumstance. She would not mind to poison that person to death. At that very moment Asha and Sanket, no, Aminrul Mohammed Khanam left the house.

“Love has no religion. You should judge a person by her nature, not by her religion. I have not committed any sin. Asha is my wife and will be so till my last breathe”, these were Aminrul Mohammed Khanam’s last words before leaving. In that evening, Radha also left the house, never to come back.

On the same day an infidel bride was driven away from her in law’s house with a broken dream of having a family of her own and a girl left her house for ever with the dream to be an infidel bride.

Meera suddenly discovered her love for Adnan!

Batch Mate

“Aunty, please ask him to join the class from tomorrow. I know that vacation is going on but I don’t want to take an off from English class. Madam said that she would not start the batch at least without two students. She will put us in other batch for now, but will soon form a new batch as soon as other students join in the next month.” Maya described the situation in one breathe.

“Why do you not ask others also to join the class? Why Mishuk?” Mrs. Chandra, Mishuk’s mother asked Maya.

“Because he is a topper. Only a serious student continues study during vacation”, Maya promptly replied.

“You are also serious”, Mrs. Chandra replied to Maya’s innocent answer.

“Well I don’t know. I just don’t want to miss literature class; because I love it and aunty I think we should start taking preparation for our next year board exam a little prior, right? It will be helpful for us. You see…” Maya went on explaining.

“Okay, okay, enough of convincing. I will ask Mishuk to join the class from tomorrow. Happy?” Mrs. Chandra gave Maya an indulging smile.

“Thank you, aunty”, Maya’s face blushed with gratefulness.

“And also don’t forget to breathe while talking, Maya”, Mrs. Chandra teased Maya.

“Umm… oh!” Maya gave an awkward smile, “okay, bye aunty”.

“Bye, Maya”, Mrs. Chandra closed the door. Mishuk was standing behind the door assuring his invisibility to Maya. He heard the whole conversation and was waiting for Maya’s exit.

“You here!” Mrs. Chandra found Mishuk overhearing the conversation, “Why did you not speak to her?”

“Such opportunist girl she is!” Mishuk said with disgust.

“She is a sweet girl. Why are you calling her an opportunist? You don’t even speak to her”, Mrs. Chandra defended Maya.

“You don’t know her Maa. Why should I join class during vacation? If Madam won’t allow only one student, that’s hers and Madam’s problem. Anyway I am not opting for Literature after my board exam”, Mishuk sounded more defensive.

“Now you are sounding so selfish Mishuk. Whatever she said, was right. I think you should start going to the English class”, Mrs. Chandra tried to conclude the conversation with a casual approach.

“No, I won’t. I don’t want to do anything for that arrogant, snobbish girl”, Mishuk replied angrily and went to his room.

“But Madam I asked him to join the class. If he does not, what should I do?” Maya almost broke down. She felt pretty humiliated. Mishuk and she were batch mates since class VIII. Now they were awaiting a promotion to class XII.

“But I need at least two people to invest my one hour Maya”, Madam Rita said.

“But… but… I want to join from now. Which is more important to you Madam, number of students or an interested candidate?” Maya put an argument.

Madam laughed. Maya had been her favorite student since she joined her coaching centre.

“Maya why don’t you take a break and let me take one? Come after a month, no!” Madam replied.

“I will again go today to Mishuk’s house and will drag him till here”, Maya sounded rigid.

“May I come in Madam?” Mishuk was at the threshold.

Maya almost skipped a heartbeat. She did not fear Mishuk but it was that they had negligibly a very few formal conversations in last four years. They were not even friends. They were mere batch mates. Maya skipped her heartbeat for two reasons. First of all she, inside her mind, really did not expect Mishuk to join the class so soon and secondly she was blabbering about Mishuk to Madam that made her feel awkward.

“Oh! Mishuk, you have come. Maya was just talking about you. Yesterday she went to your house, talked to your mother so that you join the class early. See, how much effort she put to bring you here”, Madam was trying to make the ambiance informal.

Maya agitated, “I did not do anything for him. I just wanted to join the…”

Oops!  Mishuk would think her so selfish and opportunist, Maya thought. She skipped the last word hence.

Mishuk did not seem to care. He was busy with his notebooks. Tossing notebook was a clear indication for Madam to start teaching. Mishuk was just like that, a very less but hard spoken boy. To Maya he was just a small boy whose body seemed to forget developing after 10 yr, a thin, pale, short heighted, a head full of curly haired boy. But he was the topper of his school. He was so studious that other toppers from other schools also considered him as their only eligible competitor. But Maya always scored higher than him in English. Toppers from every school considered Maya as their eligible competitor particularly in this subject.

“You ruined my vacation. But don’t think that I have joined the class early because of you. It was for my mother”, Mishuk slammed Maya after the class got over.

“And I asked aunty to send you in the class”, Maya reminded him. Maya was frivolous, easy going, talkative kind of a girl who was a typical teenage girl in brief.

“That I know, you opportunist”, Mishuk said and whisked.

“So, how are you all feeling?” Madam asked everyone on their last day of coaching center. Final board exam was knocking at their door. After two months they would be called college going folks.  Everyone became very emotional. It was the place where they had been studying since they were in class VIII. College and different courses would separate them. No one knew how would be their new big life. Everyone committed to each other to stay in touch. Some even had decided to take admission in the same college, but still they knew that nothing would be the same. Equation was bound to change.

Maya was returning home with a heavy heart. She did not know how much she would miss her batch mates but she was sure that she would be missing her Madam for sure. She tried to convince her Madam to start a batch for under graduate students who would pursue English literature. But Madam did not agree.

“Hey wait! How is your preparation going on?” someone asked Maya.

Mishuk! What on earth made this chap suddenly feel concerned about Maya! Maya sensed some conspiracy. This topper was trying to track her preparation so that he could beat Maya at the last moment. Poor boy! No matter what Maya was going to top in the subject that she knew.

“Well final has time. I have not started following any structure yet”, Maya tried to avoid.

“You liar! You scored highest in the test exam. You are already prepared. If you don’t study for one month, still you will score the highest”, Mishuk said.

“Thanks for keeping undoubted faith on me. But I really have not started preparing for the final. What’s about you? Forget it; tell me what made you talk to me on the final day?” Maya asked.

“Why? What’s wrong in that? We did not talk much; does that mean we will never talk to each other?” Mishuk said.

“No, but why this thought never came in your mind before?” Maya counter questioned.

“Maya! You skeptical girl!” Mishuk said.

“How much is it necessary to always put an adjective before my name?” Maya asked.

“Can we talk something else?” Mishuk insisted.

They had a good conversation beyond studies for the first time. From then Maya and Mishuk regularly met each other, sometime with reasons like group study or exchanging notes and sometime with no reason, just to have chitchat to refresh their minds. Everyone was a little shocked seeing their developing friendship.

Board examination was over. Mishuk’s English paper did not go well. Maya was expecting highest score as usual. Mishuk wanted to pursue engineering after that, while Maya English literature. Now they had enough time to roam around and spend time together. Maya and Mishuk, both could never imagine of such promising friendship between them. Maya and Mishuk kept visiting each other’s house often.

But something else was destined perhaps. Maya sensed it when one day her phone stopped working and entire day Mishuk could not reach her. In the evening when they met, Mishuk burst into anger. He shouted at her for being unavailable all the day.

“But my mobile is not working. What am I supposed to do?” Maya said.

“You could have come to my place immediately. Why were you waiting for the evening?” Mishuk replied.

Maya was dumbfounded. Who on earth does so!

On other day Maya was busy with her other friends in her kitty party. She invited Mishuk also, but God knew why Mishuk never appeared in public. Maya always found him a socially awkward person. She thought that he might feel shame with his body structure. Maya did not contact him throughout the day. In those days missed calls were considered as the gesture of remembrance. So Maya forgot to give him missed calls which meant she did not remember him throughout the day. She did not even check her mobile. At night when Maya was going to her bed, she checked her mobile and she found forty six unread messages and thirty two missed calls, all from Mishuk.

“Hey! I am sorry. I was so busy today that I could not text or give you missed call. You should have come you know! Everyone was talking about you” Maya texted. Maya thought that Mishuk was in sleep but her mobile beeped within a few seconds as if Mishuk already knew what Maya was going to text him and he prepared a draft for that.

“Did you miss me?” Mishuk’s reply came.

Maya was a bit shocked. “Well all our old friends were together after such long time. It has been a month that we spent time together. You should have come, Mishuk”, Maya replied. Maya unintentionally skipped the direct answer. In fact that’s how she wanted to reply.

“Did You miss me, Maya?” Mishuk’s reply came. Now Maya started feeling uneasy. Still she replied, “Of course I missed you. If you would have come, our get together would have been a complete one”.

“Why did you not contact me, Maya?” Mishuk replied. Now Maya literally wanted to avoid such conversation. To conclude the conversation she texted, “Okay from tomorrow onward I will give you sixteen missed calls in a day”.

“Promise?” reply came. Maya did not reply, now intentionally. She fell asleep. Next morning she received sixty four unread messages filled with “promise?”  Maya could not understand what to reply. She dropped a good morning message. Maya gave him missed calls, of course not sixteen. Who on earth followed promise with numbers! At night she got a call from Mishuk.

“You gave missed calls to me only four times, Maya. You were supposed to give me sixteen, remember your promise?” Mishuk said. Maya literally thought that he was joking. Maya laughed and said, “Oh! You literally counted!” Mishuk’s tone changed, “Maya don’t do this to me. When it is sixteen, it should be so”. God knew what but there was something in his tone that petrified Maya.

One afternoon Maya got Mishuk’s call. “Please meet me now. It’s very urgent”, he said.

“But what’s the matter? I am in middle of something. I can’t go out now. Let’s meet in the evening”, Maya said.

“Maya do me a favor, please come. I desperately want to meet you. It’s really urgent. Please try to understand”, Mishuk pleaded.

“But what is it?” Maya asked.

“Come, I will explain you”. Mishuk dropped the phone.

Maya met Mishuk. “What is it?” Maya asked.

“It is you, Maya”, Mishuk replied, “I went for a nap and saw your face in my dream. Since then I wanted to meet you.” Maya could not believe her ears. It was the emergency call! Really!

“Okay fine, you have seen me, now let me go.” Maya literally did not want to extend the conversation any further. Maya whisked and warned Mishuk not to follow her. Maya was so disturbed that she decided to speak less to Mishuk. Maya was feeling very uneasy. Suddenly Maya started analyzing Mishuk’s behavior so far. She found him so rigid, egoist and dominating. He always tried to take over Maya.

The less Maya spoke to Mishuk, the more agitated he was becoming. Final’s result was out. Maya got admission in a good college with her favorite subject, English literature while Mishuk scored miserably. He was rejected by every top notch engineering college. He was even second listed candidate in every general college for honors’ admission. Maya really could not figure out the reason of his pathetic downfall, but Mishuk seemed so normal as if it was expected.

Finally Mishuk got admission in Maya’s college with Electrics. Maya did not like it, but did not express her unhappiness also. Mishuk became such a headache after that! He was becoming possessive and equally abusive by each passing day. Maya decided to confront him. His behavior was affecting Maya’s mental health.

“What’s the matter, Mishuk? Why are you behaving so immature?” Maya confronted.

“Maya I want to tell you something”, Mishuk’s voice became so meek.

“What is it?” Maya asked.

“Maya I feel… I mean I think… I think that I love you”, Mishuk said after overcoming his innumerable fumbles. Maya felt something slipped under her feet. She tried to act normal.

“Maya I tried to tell you this since we met first time in the coaching centre. But see I took five years to express it. Maya I really love you”, Mishuk stopped. He gathered confidence it seemed, but Maya was about to faint.

She straight facedly said, “Don’t feel, don’t think Mishuk. If you want me to respect your feelings, okay I am doing so, but don’t expect anything else from me. I don’t love you.” In fact Maya did not want to respect his feelings also, if someone asked about her innermost feeling. It was just to maintain modesty while disappointing a crazy Romeo.

“You are lying”, Mishuk said.

“Why on earth should I lie to you? It is the fact and it is not necessary to love someone back who loves you, Mishuk. It is not mandatory or something”, Maya tried to appear a bit rude and strict.

“I know you love me”, Mishuk replied. Maya was frightened by his look.

“Bye Mishuk. Our friendship is over. Have a happy life”, Maya tried to make her exist. Mishuk held her hand. “Maya I know you also love me, I saw it in your eyes”, Mishuk said.

“Go and see an optician for your overly powered eyesight, you moron”, Maya finally appeared rude.

“You love me Maya, you love me. I know it. You remember how you used to smile at me, remember how you approached my mother, remember every day you passed by my house returning home from coaching and you still do, remember? What were those if not love?” Mishuk became so miserable.

Maya instantly wanted to die. She shouted, “Are you out of your mind? Where have you kept your brain? Mishuk I smile at everyone, I pass by your house because it is the way to my home and I approached your mother not to marry you, but for a reason. What’s wrong with you? Leave my hand and let me go.”  

Mishuk started acting like a complete psychopath. He used to embarrass Maya by sitting whole day outside of her classroom, standing outside of her house. Maya did not wish to be rude to him; hence she tried to convince him peacefully but he was in no mood to listen. Maya lost her temper when in front of everyone in cafeteria he cried out, “Who is restricting you to love me Maya? What is it, say? Why are you cheating on me? We love each other since our childhood, now why are you not acknowledging it? Don’t do this to me Maya, please”, he started crying like an infant. Maya stood up and slapped him hard on his face in front of everyone. She did not care for her image, never did she ever, but Mishuk’s craziness crossed its limit.

Now he started chasing her every possible place Maya used to be present. He used to cry, start abusing Maya verbally by trying to malign her character in front of everyone. Maya decided to discuss the matter in her house, later with Mishuk’s family.

Maya’s parents approached Mishuk’s parents to resolve the issue. It was literally embarrassing for Maya to go through all this. Mishuk’s father was regarded as a very humble and polite person. He promised Maya’s father not to let such incident happen again. Everything seemed resolved if Mishuk’s mother did not meet Maya one day on the way to home. Though Maya changed her route to reach her home, for this she had to walk for some extra miles but she was ready to do anything to get rid of Mishuk. Maya’s life became miserable after that. Her brother who was two years elder to her was studying in the same college and became a bodyguard of her. Maya hardly got days to walk impenitently on roads now, her brother accompanied her always. 

Maya could not decide how to react to Mishuk’s mother. She smiled out of courtesy. Aunty suddenly started sobbing. Maya so wanted to be vanished by magic.

“Everything will be fine aunty. I never wished to be so rude to him, but the situation was…” Maya could not finish her sentence, Mrs. Chandra said, “Maya please go and meet him. Talk to him Maya. If you love him why are you not acknowledging it? Are you afraid of your family? I will go and talk to your family. Don’t let my son die, Maya, please.” Aunty started crying loudly. Everyone on the road was looking at them. Maya cursed herself for being unnecessarily modest. She could have made her exist. She calmed herself down and decided to talk to aunty. She described every possible thing and specially those irrelevant points made by Mishuk, basis on which Mishuk discovered Maya’s affection to him. Aunty did not say anything, she just left.

“Maya, Maya”, someone was screaming her name outside. Neighbors came out of their rooms, so did Maya’s family. It was Mishuk! That day was the worst day in Maya’s life. Maya’s family insulted Mishuk’s family by all means. Mishuk’s father was not present there. She could not look at Mishuk’s mother’s eyes. Mrs. Chandra’s eyes were filled with immense pain. God knew what happened, suddenly Mishuk attacked on Maya’s father, “You are the culprit who doesn’t want us together. I will snatch Maya from you.” Maya wished to die instantly. It was getting unbearable. Maya’s brother was not in home. He came from somewhere and thrashed Mishuk falling him on ground. When people stopped him, Mishuk was almost half dead. Suddenly he started screaming in his broken voice, “Maya I curse you that you will never find love. Everyone will leave you. No one will stay with you. Maya you can’t be anyone else’s. I curse you bitch! I curse you. You won’t spend a day without shedding tears. That day you will remember me. You will crave for love, bitch! I curse you.” Maya’s mother took her inside her room. Maya’s brother was also cursing Mishuk, but Maya could not hear anything. She did not know what happened next. She fainted!

At six in the morning Maya’s mother entered hurriedly in her room and woke her up, “Maya, Maya, Maya wake up. Mishuk is no more.” Maya was not in the state to respond. She continued gazing at her mother. “He committed suicide, may be yesterday night. He hanged himself from the fan. His body has just been rescued.”

After a week Maya gathered courage to meet Mrs. Chandra, of course secretly. She was not prepared with her consolation speech. But Maya did not have to struggle, it was Mrs. Chandra who spoke, “How are you Maya?” Maya could make a sign of her well being only by bending his neck one side.

“Maya”, Mrs. Chandra said, “you were the only girl who never made fun of her physical appearance, who was nice to him. He was immature that he took it as love.” Mrs. Chandra paused. She again said, “He was very introvert, socially awkward. He wanted to conquer the world by his merit for he had no other beauty to be praised. It made a huge difference. But you were the first person who treated him normally, accepted him as a friend despite of his all awkwardness. He got emotionally attached to you. I know that he troubled you a lot. Pardon him as no one is left to be blamed.” Mrs. Chandra again took a pause, “But Maya, how much was it difficult to love my child? Was he not worth loving? Was it so difficult?”

A year passed!!!

Premonition

“Lavender’s blue dilly, dilly,

                  Lavender’s green,

When I am king dilly, dilly,

                   You shall be queen…

Lavender’s green, dilly, dilly,

                  Lavender’s blue,

If you love me, dilly, dilly,

                        I will love you…”

“Come on Illy, sing with me”, Lilly asked her little sister to join her in singing. Illy was lost in her daydreams. She always fell in love with her elder sister’s voice especially whenever she heard her sister humming this particular tune. Illy was an introvert in nature and of course a homesick child who always preferred to spend time with her elder sister in their small garden. It was Lilly who always pushed her little sister to go out and play with her friends. But Illy instead of going out she always chose to stay with her sister. Her sister was an excellent story teller. Cinderella was her favorite story among others. No matter how much Lilly tried to impress her little sister with new stories, for Illy it was always incomplete without Cinderella’s story.

“…and Clara starts walking without her wheelchair. Heidi is so happy for her best friend,” Lilly finished her story. Illy seemed to be lost. Lilly guessed that her little sister was then in her dreamland.

“Did you like the story Illy?” Lilly asked Illy.

“Yes”, Illy replied, “tell me that part Lilly, when the Prince finally found Cinderella.”

Lilly laughed, “Do you not get bored hearing same story every day, Illy?”

“No, I love Cinderella”, Illy took a pause, “and I love the Prince”, Illy shied her eyes away from her sister’s.

Lilly gave her little sister an indulging smile, “You will also meet your prince one day. He will come here looking for you.”

“I will hide behind you”, Illy said shyly.

“But he will find you out. He will come here only for you dear, riding on a white horse. That day some magic will happen”, Lilly said.

Illy was completely lost in her dreams. She could see someone coming on a white horse from a far away place, but from where she did not know. She could not even see the face of her future prince but could see the lights around piercing her eyes. What was that? Light or magic!

Lilly was getting married today. Little Illy became a college going girl by then. Time flew in a blink of eyes. Illy was waiting for her prince to come while her sister Lilly, who was eight year older to her, got hitched with her long time beau, Aamon.  

Lilly was looking so gorgeous! All dressed in a maroon color sari, she became the sole owner of a set of glittery gold jewelry. Everyone’s eyes were looking for the bride. Illy was of no importance today. Nobody even bothered to discuss her beauty. Whenever two sisters were together somewhere, it was Lilly who always grabbed everyone’s attention and Illy appeared to be a defeated soul. But it hardly saddened Illy rather it grew admiration in her mind for Lilly even more.

Lilly left her house, her room, garden, parents, private space and above all her beloved little sister Illy behind, for she had a new address now. She shared her privacy now with a person who used to intrude more often in her mind to confirm his space. Lilly learnt that after marriage the definition of privacy changed. She knew the person before, but did not know the experience of living with that person. So love marriage never concluded the space of exploring a person in a better way.  

Aamon, reserved in nature, became more unfamiliar to Lilly by each passing day. He became an intruder in Lilly’s life. The strong headed, lively girl suddenly discovered that she had not heard her voice for so long. It was Aamon who always had something to comment particularly on Lilly’s life. Time truly made the huge difference. In those everyday’s two hours’ meeting, Aamon was merely a possessive boyfriend which defined his level of care for Lilly. But now it seemed intrusion to Lilly.

Illy was very happy today. Lilly and Aamon were about to reach. She was running to the balcony in every five minutes to see them coming. Illy never could resist her whenever she talked about her sister and brother-in-law to her friends. She always kept on talking. Sometime she repeated the same incidents with over enthusiasm. To her it was a match made in heaven. Though Illy often avoided any kind of interaction with Aamon, they ended up having a very formal relationship. It was not Illy’s introvert nature; she always tried her best to gel with her brother-in-law. Lilly asked her to treat Aamon as her brother and Illy also put her effort to that matter. Aamon was regarded as a soft spoken and gentle person. But God knew why to Illy his gentleness seemed to be harsh sometime. But still she chose to admire him as he was Lilly’s Prince.

Finally they arrived. Aamon’s parents also came. Illy hugged her sister tightly, so did Lilly. But something was missing there. Illy could not feel the familiar warmth in that hug. Lilly looked exhausted. This time Aamon did not bother to say ‘hello’ to Illy. A fake smile on faces performed the formality.  He looked unnaturally calm. An unknown fear grasped Illy’s mind.

The ambiance was becoming heavier with each passing moment. Illy was not allowed in elders’ conversation. She was arranging food for the dinner. She could hear some pieces of words while passing by the room to go to the kitchen.

“It just has been a year Aamon. I think you should take some more time”. Illy heard her father speaking, but on which context she could not figure out.

“But my son has a wish Mr. Ghosh. Is it crime to demand for a child after marriage? Your daughter reacted like…” Illy could not hear more. It was Aamon’s mother.

“No, no, Mrs. Gupta what are you saying? Why it would be a crime! But I was saying if they could take more time”, Lilly’s mother replied.

Illy heard a heavy voice, “But Mrs. Ghosh you should understand that it has been a year and your daughter does not want to bear a child. My son is also a service person. If he can manage his time and is ready to fulfill all the responsibilities of a father, why is your daughter excusing herself with her job?” Mr. Gupta firmly stated.

“No, I am not excusing myself. I also want to be a mother but I am having some medical complications. It will need some time. Your son knows everything. I tried then only I came to know about the complications, right? Then why are you questioning my intention?” Lilly replied.

“Why don’t you say clearly that you can never bear a child?” Mrs. Gupta’s statement left the room speechless.

“No, I won’t say so. Those are complications and curable”, Lilly replied after few seconds’ pause.

“I can foresee my son’s future. It is ruined, completely ruined”, Mrs. Gupta sobbed.

“What do you want? Do you want to get rid of me? Why don’t you clear this thing out?” Lilly cried.

“Oh! In that case tell me how can we get rid of you? Say?” Mrs. Ghosh replied.

“Have you not already? I think your son has got rid of me. Ask him why he has started staying outside at night recently and most importantly with whom.” Lilly’s revelation once again left the room dumbfounded.

Illy could not resist her from peeping inside the room. Lilly’s face became so pale! Mr. and Mrs. Gupta seemed lost in other world as if they were not present there. Illy’s parents were so shocked that they wished to die instantly. Aamon was strangely calm. Illy did not hear a single word from him since his arrival. Illy again felt something very unnatural.

That night no one had dinner except Illy and Aamon. Illy and Lilly slept together. After a year two sisters were together on the same bed. Illy tried to say something, but it seemed that someone had choked her throat. Lilly suddenly kissed on Illy’s forehead and said, “Do you still dream of your prince? Do you still believe that he will look for you riding on a white horse, Illy?” Illy literally was not prepared for such sudden question. “If you say so”, Illy could not figure out anything better to answer. Lilly laughed out so loud, it sounded like thousand pains were echoing at the same time. Illy was confused. She could not understand whether her idiotic reply was that funny. Lilly stopped laughing suddenly and gazed at Illy for few seconds. Then she again kissed on Illy’s forehead and this time a bit more affectionately and hugged her tightly, “Don’t dream such thing Illy. This will never come true. This is myth. Take care.”

“Where are you going?” Illy asked as Lilly got up and started walking to the door.

“Don’t call me behind sweetie. Sleep well”, Lilly left the room.

Illy followed her, Lilly entered Aamon’s room. Illy suddenly felt an unfamiliar shake in her entire body. She started walking in the dining space. She was feeling so restless! God knew why her mind was going back to childhood memories again and again. Suddenly the memory of Lilly’s marriage popped up in her mind. When Lilly was leaving, Illy was crying like a child, “Don’t go, please, don’t go”.  “I have to Illy, I have to. Please let me go. Hold yourself. Don’t call me behind sweetie. Take care”, Lilly tried to convince her little sister.

Illy ran towards her room. She could not think of anything. Her body started shaking with an unknown fear. Something would happen, something was going to happen.

“Illy… Illy open the door Illy, open the door”, Illy woke up hurriedly but could not dare to open the door. It was her mother who was screaming outside her room. “Illy come here, oh no! Oh God! Why did you do this to me? Illy, see what happened to Lilly”, as if Illy was consciously waiting for this explanation that something had happened to Lilly finally. Illy could not move. She was still on her bed waiting for the next explanation. Someone was banging at her door so hard! Illy was not able to sense anything. She could only hear the increasing noises. One of her neighbor uncles managed to bring her out of the room, “Come and see your sister for one last time Illy.” Uncle was crying. Illy thought that she was dreaming and her mother would wake her up and say, “Wake up Illy. Lilly is waiting for you on the table with coffee.”

Illy finally found Lilly, sleeping so peacefully. Aamon was there beside her head lamenting, “Why Lilly, why? Why did you take such big step? We would have managed somehow. I am sorry for overreacting but I really did not want to lose you.”

Ah! After long time Illy heard Aamon’s voice. But it was so unfamiliar!

“It was Aamon who called Mrs. Ghosh that Lilly was no more”, one neighbor aunt said.

“Do you think that it was suicide?” another one asked.

Dawn had not broken yet. Illy found her father lying unconscious in a corner of the room. Two neighbor uncles were trying to get him back in sense. Illy’s mother was running from one room to the other calling out Lilly’s name like a crazy woman. Three four neighbor aunties were running behind her. It became very difficult for them to tackle such sudden big crazy child.

Police came, general investigation started. They took the corpse for postmortem. Illy forgot to cry, she even forgot to call her sister behind, she just let her go. For the first time she obeyed her sister by not calling her behind.

Illy’s parents did not allow Illy to see her sister’s dead body before cremation. After postmortem it was a distorted corpse. Illy decided that she would not see her sister’s distorted body.

Illy was in her room. The house was filled with unnatural silence. The sound of police van broke the silence.

“It was murder! He choked her to death. Postmortem report is saying so. Mr. Ghosh why are you taking back the case? We will have to release him on bail then”, police personnel said.

“Listen sir! I have another daughter. Have you seen her? Lilly has gone. We will have to accept the truth and will have to try to forget it. If we run the case, her memory will never let us live. Illy will die, she will die every day. I can’t see my other daughter dying in front of eyes again. God will punish him. Let us live sir, let us live”, Mr. Ghosh replied.

“No, Baba, you can’t do so” Illy came out of her room running, “Please Baba don’t do this to her. You will have to punish him. Baba he killed Lilly. Baba, please don’t take the case back. Baba please”, Illy pleaded, “Sir, sir please you do something. Don’t listen to my father. Tell me, what I should do, tell me, I will do everything.”

“Illy”, Mr. Ghosh shouted, “go inside your room.”

“But Baba…”, Illy tried to convince her father once more.

“No, I don’t want to listen to you. Go inside, please go. I am begging you. I have no strength left. Do whatever you want when you will grow up. I cannot run the case. If you want, you do when you will grow up. I don’t have the strength Illy, I don’t have. Please pardon me”, Illy’s father pleaded.

“Go inside dear. Don’t bother your father much. He is not in good condition. The case can be reopened whenever you want. Do you want to run the case? Go and complete your study first, go”, Police said to Illy.

Illy went back to her room. She was figuring out how long it would take her to grow up.

“Illy, Illy he killed me, Illy it is hurting, Illy help me, Illy don’t let me go Illy, please hold me. Illy he killed me… Illy….”

Illy was lying on the bed with her eyes open. She was listening to her sister carefully.

“Why don’t you understand Mrs. Ghosh that I can’t prescribe such high dose sleeping pills to a 19 year girl? Three pills in a day, have you gone crazy? She will lose her memory”, Dr. Goel told Illy’s mother.

“Let her lose all the memories. I can’t see my daughter suffering this much. Please doctor, do something. I am begging you”, Illy’s mother pleaded.

“Okay, okay let me see what I can do, but it will be harmful Mrs. Ghosh”, Dr. Goel said.

“But there is no other way, right doctor?” Illy’s mother said.

“Illy, Illy see who’s come to see you?” Illy’s mother called Illy. Illy did not pay any attention. She was looking outside the window and was humming something.

“Illy see, Keya has come to see you,” Illy’s mother further said. She thought after hearing best friend’s name, Illy might respond. But Illy did not seem to care.

Now Keya called Illy, “Illy, Illy look at me”. Now Illy seemed disturbed. She gave a blank look at Keya. Keya and Illy’s mother thought that Illy would respond. But Illy again looked back to the window without responding them. Keya again called her.

“Who is Illy?” she asked Keya.

“It’s you, Illy. It’s your name”, Keya replied.

“Is it my name? Are you calling me?” she asked.

“Yes Illy, it is your name. What are you doing Illy? I have come to see you. Let’s go out. I will take you to my home today”, Keya said.

“No, go away. Who are you? Don’t disturb me. I am waiting here”, Illy replied angrily.

“Waiting for whom Illy? Keya asked.

“For the grown up me. I want to grow up. You go now. I will come some other day”, Illy continued humming,

“Lavender’s blue dilly, dilly,

               Lavender’s green,

 When I am King dilly, dilly,

            You shall be Queen…

Who told you so dilly, dilly,

           Who told you so?

It was my heart dilly, dilly,

            That told me so…”

  

Fallen Angel

“…and then Rumki and Jhumki reunited with their mother.”

Her mother concluded the story. The little girl with her big round eyes, mouth filled with food which she somehow forgot to swallow, could wish nothing more than this reunion. Rumki and Jhumki’s reunion with her mother was very much desired to her. She was very nervous about the fate of these lost siblings. Hence this reunion brought a big smile on her face along with a sigh of relief.

“Why are you not eating food? Finish your food, hurry”, her mother interrupted her joyous thoughts, “You have school tomorrow, remember. Go to bed early. I am fed up with your tantrums every morning. It has become a routine now. Finish your dinner, fast. You don’t go to bed early, don’t wake up early….” her mother went on saying but she was in no mood to pay any heed to the allegations. She was busy in thinking of the post reunion situation. Rumki, Jhumki and their mother might have rejoiced the occasion.

“Mamma, did they celebrate the occasion, just like you do whenever Bhaiyaa returns from boarding school?” she asked.

“I believe that they did”, her mother replied, “Come; let me wash your face. Swallow the food properly. I told you not to talk with filled mouth.”

The little girl again discarded the advices. She went on asking, “But why did that banyan tree protected Rumki and Jhumki? Did it know them before?”

Mother replied, “No, but the banyan tree recognized the angels at a glance and angels are good, pure, no evil can touch them. Good people get helps from everyone.”

“Mamma I am also an angel!” the little girl giggled.

“No, you are a little monster”, her brother replied promptly, “you throw tantrums at everyone. You even have hid my color pencils. Tell me where have you kept those?”

The little angel strongly rebuffed the accusations. They were almost into a heated argument while their mother intervened in the matter. “Stop fighting. I will find them. Now you both go to bed. I do not want to hear a single word anymore from you. Go”, the mother strictly ordered. They followed it.

It was a daily routine that on the dinner table while feeding the little girl her mother had to narrate a story to her. After finishing dinner on the bed the little girl would dream those with her colorful imaginary lens. That night the self claimed little angel dreamt that she was flying with her wings. She was flying over a mountain, river, road and her school. She could see from above that Miss Gomes was taking class who she never liked at all. Miss Gomes saw her hovering over her head. She got very pissed seeing her flying hither and thither bunking the class. So what? Now Miss Gomes could hardly reach her. She was in so high. She was giggling seeing Miss Gomes so furious and frustrated.

Her dream was interrupted by her mother calling her to wake up and get ready for the school bus.  

After few days her uncle visited their house. She was very happy to see her uncle. She loved her uncle so much. Her uncle was a good story teller and he used to fulfill every wish of hers. Whenever her uncle paid visit to them, the little girl preferred to sleep with him.

One day she was lying next to her uncle at night. Her uncle was narrating her how he got stuck in his last jungle safari. It was a full moon night. The jungle looked so mysterious. Wolves were howling, tigers were roaring and her uncle was alone in that forest. The little girl was amazed by her uncle’s doughty spirit. Her uncle was stroking his fingers through her hair while narrating the story. Her uncle haphazardly finished the story so that she could sleep early. This made her upset. Her uncle promised her to continue it next day. She was convinced.

Her uncle always gave her a good night hug before she fell asleep. But this time it seemed suffocating to her. Her uncle hugged her so tight that she assumed that she might stop breathing at any moment. She struggled to get rid out of his uncle’s surprise love. Her continuous effort might have angered her uncle. He suddenly slapped her twice so hard and bit on her breast which was then a flat chest at the age of six. She felt burning pain on her soft skin. She cried out loudly. Her mother came running to see the matter.

“Oh! She did not want to sleep. I promised her to continue the story tomorrow but she was rigid. She started pulling my hair and was scratching on my face. I slapped her ‘by chance’.  Such a monster she has become! I am sorry sister. Take her in her bedroom,” her uncle said.

Her mother was anyway convinced by her daughter’s mischievousness. The little girl tried to protest but she found her granny standing there with her big eyes which was a clear instruction to keep mum. The little girl was surprised why her granny did not protect her when she was present in the room and witnessed the entire act!

Her uncle left the house on the very next day. She did not bid him goodbye. She obeyed her granny, kept mum and bore the pain on her chest for four days.

It was her cousin brother’s 17^th birthday. Her family went to attend his birthday. He was eight year older than her and two year older than her sibling. They enjoyed the birthday celebration.

The little girl was always fascinated by her cousin’s bedroom. It was huge, full of various types of video games which her sibling had in his room but never allowed her to touch or play. Besides, her cousin had various kinds of musical instruments in his room about what she was very much curious.

One day during lunch she expressed her wish to play with the instruments. She expected a rejection, but to her surprise her cousin expressed the desire to teach her to play guitar. She was so excited.

After finishing lunch, she entered her cousin’s room. Her sibling did not take any interest and went to have a nap. So did her mother and aunt. Her cousin locked the door so that no one should be disturbed by the chaos they were about to make inside the room.

“Come, sit beside me. Let me show you the strokes”, her cousin said.

She excitedly joined him. It was going really well. Suddenly she felt some uneasy movements at her back. She preferred to remain ignorant. She felt ticklish by those movements. To her amazement her cousin removed the guitar from her lap hastily and kissed on her lips so passionately. Before she could understand anything he slipped his hands into her frock. Those uneasy movements continued causing immense pain.

This time she neither cried nor did she scream. She did not even try to resist her cousin as she did not want to get slapped so hard again. The self claimed angel only wished to be buried under the ground, wished to have real wings so that she could fly off so high alike Miss Gomes her cousin could not reach her. This time she acted like her granny. She surrendered herself.

On her every birthday her mother gifted her book. It was her 18^th birthday. Her relatives, cousins all gathered to celebrate her birthday. Her sibling could not join them as he was in UK and could not manage to come. Everyone was rejoicing. Her relatives were reminding her again and again how mischievous she happened to be. She was a little monster in her childhood. Now she is a big girl.

She smiled but laughed inside. They did not know that this little monster became a devil by the time. 

She forgot to dream with colorful imaginary lens. Whenever she dreamt, the color of it was always grey or black and white shaded. No matter how many stories on angels she had read after that, she always fell in love with the demons’ character. In her dreams also she found herself screaming, crying out of some unknown pain and sometime found her killing or beating someone. Who was that victim, she never knew. She always discovered herself in shady places in her dreams just like the demons’ palace in the stories.

She did not have any boyfriend alike her friends of her age at that time. Not because she was unappealing or something, but she was too reserved to approach. In spite of having male friends, no one could dare to approach her. She successfully kept herself within an invisible prohibited circle inside which no one could trespass.

Gradually she developed an obsession on devils. She could connect herself easily with Lucifer, the fallen angel and his fascinating boldness but never with Adam or Eve. In any discussion on Lucifer, she always took side of Lucifer, she defended him. Such devilish nature she had developed! People, who used to call her ‘a little monster’, were right, she thought. Once the self claimed angel by the time realized that she was no more an ‘angel’, but a fallen angel who was prepared to face any obstacle bravely.

“Surprise!” her mother said, “look who sent gifts for his little monster”.

Bhaiyaa! Her brother sent her gifts with a card. She curiously took the card to read the message first. Her eyes got stuck on the address note. She could not read further.

It was written ‘my little angel’! He addressed her ‘my little angel’!

She murmured, “But mamma says that angels are pure!”

That night she tried to dream with her colorful imaginary lens. She could see nothing. It was pitch dark!

Rainbow

“This is certainly a midlife crisis. You must admit it.”

The stupid common girl and her girlfriend were into a deep conversation. Her girlfriend was concerned about a woman who happened to be her close relative.

“She was happily married, before meeting that boy, very devoted, dutiful. Enjoying life is something else and I don’t think it requires one to be someone else’s girlfriend especially when you are married. She should think about her children. Just one fine morning she can’t decide to have a so called ‘free’ life. I know that it is very difficult to live with a person who hardly cares for you. But she could have made a decision long before having children. Now they are growing up. What would be their future? How would they react to it?

Her husband cheated on her ‘once’. But that was just for once you know. I condemn the act but she can’t take revenge in the same way. It is stupidity. Now her husband really wants her.

She is beautiful with her imagination. She has a poetic mind. She loves to be appreciated for her beauty, nature, thoughts. She loves to talk to people and when she does, she lives in a different world. She speaks her heart out, ignoring the world’s notion towards her.

Her husband ignored her. She was merely a wife to him. She must perform every duty which a wife generally is supposed to perform. Her husband had no time for her but he still managed to take care of her every need. Now I understand that she might have desired her husband in a different way, not as a mere dutiful husband; but you know how men are! They usually can’t be so expressive with their feelings. It is so natural, isn’t it?

They used to fight a lot you know. Her husband was upset with her complexion. She is a black woman. Whenever she was into any argument with her husband, she had to face racist taunts from her husband. But I must mention that her husband is quite satisfied with her beauty though. She is a beautiful woman. Now you see that they had arranged marriage. At their time a very few people were allowed to find their suitors on their own. Is it not all about to live a happy life, mutual one, especially when you have kids? One can’t be so reckless!"

The girlfriend took a pause. 

"What’s the certainty of her new relationship? A boy who is much younger than her would be able to take care of her, do you think so?  Just because he gives her time, listens to her, flatters her mean he is the one for her! What kind of logic is this? Such immaturity she is showing at this age! They say that they wouldn’t have anything more than this friendly relationship. What friendly relationship? You are an Indian housewife. Our society would not acclaim such friendly relationship outside marriage. Instead of being rational, sometime we need to be practical. With all my sympathy for her year so long marital confinement, I still can’t disagree more with her lifestyle. Divorce can’t be an option for a house wife like her. I don’t understand when her husband is ready now to start a fresh life with her, why she is acting so pricey!

You know she has become the exact what she was never. She has become punctual, free, easy going, in fact a rebel who does not fear to oppose people with her thoughts. She has become so vocal about her desires. There was a time when she used to be so meek and mild. Now she has such makeover in her nature. I am just worried about her children, my cousins”, the girlfriend took a deep breath after finishing her monologue.

 

“I don’t know what to do with her. I so wish that she could have chosen any other form of rebellion and it’s already late for her to take such step up”, the girlfriend sighed. 

“Indeed! But it’s never too late to recognize the artist of your rainbow”, the stupid common girl replied.

Her girlfriend did not seem to be happy with her reply. Her quick expression clearly justified the reason why she calls her friend ‘a stupid’.

“Don’t bother her. She has just started loving herself”, the stupid common girl’s final reply left her girlfriend helpless.